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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

So it starts Observations of a Displaced Tennessean!

Well I decided to start a new blog.  Never blogged before and had no idea or as somefolks in Texas say "IDEAL" where to start.  ( I hate that by the way the ideal thing for idea ) I wanted this blog to be kinda funny, kinda enlightening and well just plain interesting!  So far we don't have much now do we readers.  It all started 12 years ago when I moved from my hometown of Sharon, Tennessee, to big old Texas! Now I know I know everything is better here in Texas.  I was in the state about 3 second when I was enlightened.  Did you know Texas could be its own country?  Yep can be split in to 4 states, Did you know that the Texas flag can be flown at the same height as the American flag and woooweeee try our barbque its much better than yours.  Now I don't know much about flags flyin and countrys being made, but I do know bar b que and throwin on some chicken is not bar b que.  Its grillin.  Plain and simple grillin.  Now not that I don't like it mind you but its grillin. 

Now that we have all that settled lets look at this river.  Oh my sparklie new boyfriend told me that I would love the river.  I'd feel right as home.  Now boyfriend is not really sparklie new.  I'd had him for oh about a year.  So he takes me to the "river".  This "river" the Trinity that runs right through Ft. Worth well its a ditch.  Plain and simple a ditch.  I even saw some tires in it.  Now you Texas natives don't be offended it is a river and it does carry water.  I'm used to the Mississippi and well compared, its a ditch.

I've been in Texas for awhile now as i said earlier and well I like it.  I went home to Tennessee and I had seen the movie that was playing ( thats what we say in Tennessee "Playin").  So the only thing left was to go to "The Wal-Mart".  This is where i promptly ran into EX husband and well we both tried to hide.  Didn't happen as I ran into everyone I have ever known.  Some who clearly didn't chose me in the the big D and i don't mean Dallas.

The first 6 months of this "adventure", thats what I told my daugher we were on.  I didn't want to drag her screaming to the car, so I had to tell her something.  Like all good parents I lied.  So now I live in Ft. Worth, Texas population more than I had ever seen before.  It never dawned on me that OH MY GOD, I have to drive in this traffic. Now the background of this is in Sharon, Tennessee we have one stop light and it blinks.  Thats it!  Highway 22 and Highway 45 one blinking light.  This was going to be a challenge.  So almost new sparlie boyfriend decided to help me learn.  So we leave the apartment complex that held more people than my previous town's population, in my big ole sparklie Caddie! ( I loved that Caddie all white and not a scuff on it ) I got one piece of advice, anticipate your exits.  What the hell .... anticipate my exits.  I don't even know where I'm going.  I learned so fast.  Just leave on the Tennessee plates and go.  Its a big Caddie and in it is a girl with big hair and they will move.   Just put on your blinker (thats Tennessean for turn signal) and go.  They move.  They move really fast.  I guess they figured I had nothing to loose. 

So now that I had the driving part down.  I just needed a few landmarks.  I 35WN or ES or whatever and east loop 820 was really I 20 and there was some other mysterious things called the south freeway and the north freeway which I later learned was really I 35.  They have 2 names for everything here and no landmarks! I was screwed.  Oh but wait!  I quickly found my landmarks, the Ranchstyle Bean Factory, Miller Brewery, JPS hospital and the Ft. Worth skyline.  I am so set.  If i wanted to go anywhere I just had to drive to the sign that said Abline over by the Ft. Worth Star Telegram and go from there.  Now sometimes this was tricky.  All and all I was very proud of myself.  Then it happend, I had to go somewhere, and the person giving me directions didn't know where my landmarks were.  It was a mess! Sometimes as I'm speeding over to Dallas, out to Abline or over to Waco in my big old gas guzzler SUV ( I tend to need a big car as I'm fluffy and it makes me look smaller) I can not belive I have come this far.  I can actually eat, talk, honk, listen to the radio and mouth off at other drivers all while gliding down I-35SW whiich I now know is the SOUTH FREEWAY!

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