If you know me well ... you know I have a few "pet peeves". Well more than a few actually and somethings just down right pee in my wheaties. Stupid folks being at the top of the list. Then I think well if they weren't stupid then they wouldn't do things that classify as a pet peeve. Right? We will start with the first on that really makes me down right angry.
1. Don't dump your dog, cat, turtle, iguana, or other such household companion. Do not "set them free".
What are people thinking when they do this. That ruff ruff is just going out into the world like a big old campin trip. NOOOOOOOOO ruff ruff is going to starve to death. He's going to be miserable and more than like not get hit by a car. If you are that stupid then you need to be dumped. Take for example my Dear Hubbies ex-wife thing, well her loving companion of many years bit her grandson ( my sweet darlin ). The dog was a good dog as little yippers go. Now the dog had not had his rabies shot and here rabies is rampant. So I had Dear Hubby call his ex thang and tell her she needed to keep the dog put up when baby was around because I was just sure sweet darlin was pullin ears or thumpin its nose or some such as that. Well he did. Then of course they had to let animal control see him in ten days and make sure he wasn't frothin at the mouth or anything like that.
So digbat informs Dear Hubby that she has taken care of it. I like any normal human thinks oh good. Well not so fast. Seems dingbats hubby takes poor yipper to the local post office and dumps him out. Now I tell you this was a house dog. Never seen the local post office! So I tell Dear Hubby get in the car. He said where we goin? ( he was lookin really confused ) I was like to find "Slim". He said we will never find that dog they dumped him 3 days ago. I said "right like he's got a train ticket". So here we go. Dear Hubby driving and me hanging out of a big white Expedition yelling SLIMMMMMMMMMMMMM SLIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. It was quite a sight I'm sure. Fat girl, big hair, jammies screaming Slim. Can you picture it? So we ask everyone who is outside in the nearest trailer park if they had seen little slim. ( I had DH do the asking cause I was in my jammies and all ) I told DH, yes they are rednecks and they are my people don't be afraid. I was right! They had seen little Slim and some neighbor hoodlums had scared him off by shooting at him with a BB GUN. ( stupid hoodlums ) So we take off in the direction of the last slim sighting! I see him.... I'm on it. Well lookie here. There is dingbat and her hubby and they have zeroed in on him. Seems they were feeling guilty not because they dumped poor Slim but because sweet baby was going to have to have shots to prevent the rabies that the dog didn't have anyway!
So dingbat pulls along side DH and I and she says "we found him". Now if looks could kill she'd be 6ft under buried face first. Now I have friends. I don't know how but I've managed to meet and get to know most of the state of Texas since I been here. I think its cause I'm so nice and all. ( quit laughing ) Well I had my handy dandy contact at the Sheriff's office on the line. I just handed her my cell and said here talk to the POOOOOO LICE. You should have seen her face, it was worth money I tell you. So she talked to Lee my handy dandy PO lice contact and he read her the riot act and made her take Slim to the vet. She had to board him for 10 days at her expense. HAHA made my day cause she's a cheap ass anyway. So Slim stayed at the vet for his 10 day jail time.
When the 10 days were up dingbat went and got him. I think they realized Slim is old and he does not like kids thumping and pullin and such. They did keep little Slim but crated him when sweet baby boy was around. I guess all is well that ends well but the lesson is Dingbat, if you'd just done what I told Dear Hubby to tell you to do this would not have had to happen! See #1 stupid people.
2. Dumb drivers, now yes I'm big car people.
Do not try to cut me off with your smart car. I will hit you, just call my State Farm agent. She will tell you in the 11 years I have been in Texas, I have removed a door on a LUXery car. I have backed over someone 3 times. Don't park behind me. I will hit you. Ask DH .. i hit him like 3 times. Ask "Just like my Own" hit her once too. If you roll in and you park behind me badly, I HIT YOU!
Hit my neighbor once cause sweet pretty teen wanted to go to the mall. Seems she just parked her car right there on the street behind me and I couldn't get out .... ok so I just hit her. She came prissing to my house and said "ummmmm mam? Did you hit my car?" I said, yep sure did and I didn't just hit it. Knocked the hell out of it, almost knocked it up on the curb. I think your going to need a new door. Oh, here's my insurance info. ( I did smile sweetly at her ) She was kind of speechless. She did get a new door on her new Lincoln. She did not park there again. See lesson learned for her. I kinda had a "Fried Green Tomato's moment (TWANDAAAAAAAAAAAA!)
3. God love em, God love em, people I just barely know who call me and say ummm I got your number from my friends mom's grandmothers sisters brother in law who played soft ball with your daughters friend? I say uhhh huh ok, and they say I really hate to bother you but is your husband home. Now I realize this would worry most folks, me nope. I know they need a quick legal question. This quick legal question is going to be longgggggggggggggggg and usually about some stupid thing like getting a divorce and fighting over a chicken. Now you think I'm kidding and being funny. I'm not, do they fight for the ming vase? .... nope the chicken. Bless their hearts. I feel bad for their chickenless state and all but I haven't been home but 5 minutes and darn it Survivor is on. These people have Survivor radar! Stop calling me. If you want legal advice and you don't want to pay, I'm going to start giving it to you. Good luck cause I have no idea if you can keep the chicken or not. I'm going to tell you to fight for that chicken it is rightly yours. GO FOR IT, make a lawyer happy while he counts his money.
4. People who live in my country and don't speaky the Ingleis. Translation Do not speak english.
I'm a nurse. If your baby is sick I will do my best to help you. If I ask you a question and you shrug and look at me and say " I no speakie the ingleis" I will roll my eyes. I will have a stark raving fit when I leave the exam space. Ask my friends at work. If you are my scheduler and you can't prounce my name after I have spelled it 3 times and said it very slowly 2 times. Go take an English class. TCC is cheap. If I call you to complain that your co hort/ co scheduler can't get my name right or seem to deliver you a message. Don't say to me ... " well Denna he is hispanic". I do not care he landed a job speaking to ENGLISH SPEAKING NURSES. Get him a darn class. On the other hand he could go back to MEXICO and work there. They speakie the language! AMEN
5. People who don't understand my best friend is a man and look at me funny.
Is this so odd? Have we not progressed? yes Rob is my very ass best friend. I would take a bullet for him as long as it was not a fatal hit. Yes, someday we will be in the nursing home together but I will have better hair. ( his asian background makes his stick up when not styled tee hee ) Yes he will have on designer P.J.'s and I will have on some target ones with flamingo's. Yes, he will act all proper and then make snide coments about you when you are gone. Yes, I will make snide comments about you to your face and laugh behind your back because you didn't get it. Yes I will go on vacation with him if I want too. No its not necessary for my husband to babysit us. He wants us to go on vacation so he can watch sports 24/7. When are we going to Vegas like you promised me 2 years ago? Even my sweet Mama Sue now starts conversations with "hows Jack and Mary Hannah, how's Bill and is Rob ok". See she has accepted it now everyone else who has not, GET OVER YOURSELF! The moral to this is I do not have brother husbands, I'm not sleeping with my friend , and no my husband does not give one big whoop! It means my hubby does not have to see movies he doesn't want too, and he's not forced to eat at places he doesn't want too. I have someone to complain about him to on any given day who will always take my side. Yes, if you date Rob or are married to me you are collateral and if he dumps you after like 5 years or something crazy ex girlfriend, I stay with him, and if Bill decides to up and leave me well I keep Rob. Bill will never leave me though because if he does he has to take the kids and the dogs. Its a deal we made a long time ago. First one to file gets the kids and the dogs and the other one gets the big screen and a nice quiet apartment. WIN WIN
6. People who think they are better!
All I can say is HAHA they are going to be on the same OBIT page as me.
7. Pregnant teens who say .... but there was nothing else to do.
anything on this is redundant and your tax dollars at work.
Well I'm going to put up my soap box now and get on with some cloths washing. I have vented and now I'm happy happy .... until the next installment.
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